The History of David Futrelle – Male Feminist and Child Rape Apologist (Trigger Warning)

David Futrelle began his writing career for a little known Chicago blog, penning articles that invested heavily…and I mean heavily…into denying the reality of the sexual abuse of children. As a statutory rape apologist of the most extreme and cackhanded variety he also suggested that men who rape and impregnate underage kids shouldn’t go to jail. Somewhat bizzarely, this – as well as describing a man’s fantasy of raping a boy in a bar as ‘tender’ and ‘erotic’ – led to him being given the role of CNN’s online tech investment guru. But David Futrelle still isn’t satisfied, and has decided to build a second career for himself as the next Michael Moore. Unfortunately, nobody has had the heart to tell David Futrelle that there simply isn’t room for another privileged, fat, sanctimonious, irony lacking left-wing fraud. So David soldiers on, trying to build his name by mocking the men’s rights movement. In this way, he vainly hopes to become as famous as Michael. And get laid by a feminist.

The very notion of men’s rights offends David Futrelle’s liberal and atheist principles of secular rationality…and the spirit fairies that talk to him in his sleep and give him and every other liberal progressive priviliaged access to the pantheistic politically correct moral truths of the universe. Divine truths that are so obvious that any heretical disbelievers must be punished by the law. One of the unquestionable truths that the spirit fairies revealed to David Futrelle was that a woman has a right to an abortion. David’s faith is so resolute that this is a divinely revealed truth that he appears to argue that anyone not pro-choice should be locked away for hate speech. He has also appeared to apply the same spirit fairy truths which justify aborting babies to toddlers and infants.

David Futrelle is following closely in the footsteps of the previously best known male online feminist blogger – Kyle Payne. Unfortunately, Kyle no longer blogs because he was sent to prison for filming himself raping an unconscious schoolgirl. Well that’s not entirely true…he only finally gave up his pro-feminist/anti-porn blogging when he was sent to prison for a second time – for downloading child pornography.

Whilst David Futrelle will always be just a fat Michael Moore wannabe, as the undisputed leading online male feminist who isn’t currently in prison serving time for rape and child porn offences, at least his militant manginaism looks like finally getting him laid. He has recently began organising ‘Man Boobz Meet-ups’, in which feminist readers of his blog, some of whom he proudly boasts are children, are invited to meet up with him for a…ahem..coffee.